You may recall that International Women’s Day was at the beginning of this month. I had meant to send this post on the actual day, but I received so many emails with the subject “Women’s Day” that it put me off and I didn’t want to deluge my lovely clients. Rather than saving it for a whole year, I’m sending it out belatedly as I think we should all be celebrating women every day anyway! And every human being on the planet for that matter. Or how about we just treat each other equally and with respect so we don’t need to have a specific day to celebrate? Ah imagine…
Admittedly Women’s Day is not a day I had ever given much thought to in the past, but this year I did, because I spent some time ruminating the fact that I have come a long way in accepting the joys of being a woman.
Until not that long ago, I was adamant that I would like to come back in my next life as a man. In case my husband is reading this, I have zero interest in doing that in this life, however I have often felt aggrieved at being a woman with all the perceived ‘baggage’ that comes with it.
By that I mean: puberty, periods, PMS, body image shame, worrying about falling pregnant and worrying about not being able to get pregnant, being the baby carrier and hence having to forgo sushi eating, wine drinking and heavy exercising, having to go through labour, breastfeeding, having a stalling career because of children, not earning as much as male counterparts, not being taken seriously by some of the opposite sex and having to put up with a multitude of double standards are just a few examples. Obviously not all of these are true for all women, thank goodness! But I didn’t have a rosy picture.
Women are also expected to make sacrifices, right down to our surname upon marriage. We’re taught to look after everyone else’s needs before ourselves, because it’s what our mothers did, and their mothers did and so on and so forth, probably since the dawn of time. It comes naturally to us, but historically women didn’t also work full time and be expected to have stellar careers whilst looking immaculate and younger than our actual years on top of the child rearing.
If you keep making sacrifices for others though, where does it leave you? Exhausted and probably a little miserable and resentful, which is going to have a detrimental impact on your health. Think anxiety, insomnia, fatigue, hormone and weight issues. The ironic thing is that these issues will not only affect you but all those around you. Those people you’re ‘sacrificing’ for will be the ones at the receiving end of your irritability and low energy. You’re irritable not because you want to be, but because you’re stuck in fight or flight mode and need a break.
How do I understand this? Because this is where I used to be, and I see it all the time in my clients.
When I was working in the City of London, “I’m too busy” and “it’s too expensive” were my excuses not to partake in self-care activities, when in hindsight neither of these statements were true. I didn’t realise it at the time, but I was telling my subconscious that I didn’t deserve that massage, treatment or break.
Until I stopped sacrificing and started prioritising myself, I was totally out of touch with my body and therefore the world around me. It wasn’t my fault and if you find you do the same, it’s not yours either. We are unfortunately in a system where ‘being busy’ is a competition, we’re not taught anything about how to properly nourish and care for our bodies, we rely on doctors to tell us if we’re healthy, and having money, fame and material goods is what we’re supposed to strive for. I really do hope we have reached a point where society is going to change for the better.
I used to frequently drink alcohol because ‘life was hard, and I deserved it’. Now I take supplements and treatments so that I no longer have a nagging need to take the edge off. It has been a revelation to me that making simple lifestyle changes has removed the niggling hormonal issues I used to put up with and being aware of my body has allowed me to know where I am in my cycle. Detoxing has taught me to be careful what I put on my body and to focus on nourishment rather than eating quickly just for fuel. Ancient learnings have taught me to look at the world differently – spend more time in nature, cook with love for my family and appreciate the fact that the energy I send out to the universe is what I will receive in kind.
Which brings me to the things that I am now grateful for being a woman. I am grateful for my body for it has produced two amazing children and it allows me to be active which is vital for my mental health. I am grateful for the special bond I have with my children. I am grateful for my woman’s perception and intuition. I am grateful that I have discovered the joys of helping other women heal. I am grateful for the wisdom that has been passed down to me from other wonderful women and I will never feel aggrieved again if I focus on these things. I hope you feel the same way too.
Love,
Andy
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Andy Johnson, has the highest form of certification via the Integrative Health Practitioner Institute (IHP L2 Mastery) and is a member of the International Practitioners of Holistic Medicine.
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